Love changes through the years. That’s true for children and parents.

For moms and dads, the excitement and passion of romantic love gives way to mellowness as the anniversary years add up. The wonder and amazement at the birth of a child gets buried in a flurry of baseball games and gymnastics lessons.  And in many families, love gets lost in a tangled wed of broken relationships and broken hearts. 

Children learn quickly that the four-letter word "love" can be quite useful. After all, saying "I love you" can be the best way to trigger mommy cuddles. And even a five year old knows that adding "I don't love you" to any argument can be the fastest way to emphasize a point.

In the next twenty four hours, how often will your child say the word "love"? Listen for these phrases:  

“You don't love me as much as _______________.”

You and I have a responsibility to help each child develop and celebrate his God-given gifts. But most parents would also agree that it's hard to raise children without making comparisons.

Yet each child has individual strengths on which we can build. Sometimes abilities and gifts are buried under a strong-willed nature, the moodiness of adolescence or the hurt of neglect. Each child has a right to be loved for the child God created.

“Do you love me?”

We naturally assume children know we love them. Yet even the most casual observer would question our love when we yell at a child for dropping at spoon from the high chair or overreact to a report card. Love can get all mixed up with other emotions and even lost in the hassles of everyday life.  

Years ago, a mom vowed to tell her child at least once a day, "I love you and Jesus loves you, too." Can you make that commitment today?

“If you loved me you wouldn't make me... walk the dog... clean my room....turn off the screen.”

Love is often a handy trigger for parental guilt. It's true that love is unconditional, but showing love involves setting limits.  Because we love our children, we teach them about responsible behavior. Because we love our children, we require them to meet certain expectations. And we do these things not because it's easier (often it's much harder) but because we love them.

“If you loved me you would...take me to Disney World...give me a car for graduation...buy me a new phone.”

At an early age, children discover that love can be a great negotiating tool. Manipulating the word "love" has triggered countless parents making impulse purchases.

Giving “things” will never replace giving love. The gift of self—attention, time, affection and belief in our child—is the essence of parental love. 

“If you loved me, you would forget that I...didn't make my bed...Facetimed instead of doing homework... left my bike outside in the rain.”

Human nature makes it tough to forget, but because we are Christians we can forgive. This quality makes us unique among parents.  

I've never met a perfect child or a perfect parent, but because Jesus loves us, you and I can forgive our children. Because Jesus loves us, our children can forgive us. "We love Him because He first loved us."  (1 John 4:19) These words are a blessing  each day.