"Am I a good mom?"

"Am I a good mom?"  

"Am I a great dad?"

Those questions lurk under the surface of everyday life.  Any definition of “good parenting” involves decisions that might not reflect clear-cut rights and wrongs.  

And yet there are five elements shared by effective parents.

Effective parents know where they are going.

We are so busy doing our parenting, we don't often spend time thinking about our parenting.

Perhaps you jot down a single goal on the top of each month's calendar page. Or highlight a “virtue for the week” on your phone. Remember where you are headed and what you need to get there.

Effective parents live what they believe.

Beliefs guide behavior. This means if you believe that biblical principles and Christian virtues are the foundation for healthy families, you will do everything possible to live out those values.    

Effective parents communicate.   

As parents, we tend to be very good at the first side of communication--talking--and not as good at the second side of communication--listening. The simple action we so often tell our children to take, "Open your ears and close your mouth," is good advice for us, too.

Effective parents set appropriate boundaries.

Setting limits is important because limits set clear-cut boundaries for behavior. Although a child might see a rule as something to test, limits give parents and children the security of knowing expectations. Freedom exists within boundaries.  

Effective parents learn.

Children's growth is continuous. They might take a step or two back before moving forward, but their overall track is focused toward the future. As parents, we must continue to grow right alongside our children. 

And, like our children, we must continue to grow up with Jesus.

Because with all the challenges we face in raising children, responding to God's direction is the most critical element in parenting.